There is such a story to tell! But how does one even begin to tell it?
I can’t share every detail, or this blog would be too long to read. I can’t share to little as it would not do the trip or the changes it made in us justice.
How do I discern what was meant for me to see and discover
-and -
what I am meant to share with others?
Things that happened over the course of the week had me in awe and wonder and so filled with emotions that my eyes leaked! Our family has discussed the trip over and over and we thought we were going to Guatemala to help. None of us feel like we "helped" as much as we had expected to.
The one common thread that keeps surfacing is the connections we made with others.
We even made connections with the cows, yes, the cows!
Each morning a large herd of cows came to our hotel courtyard to graze. There was one cow in particular, with her baby, that seemed especially fond of us gringos. She would get right up in your face, allow pets, and even selfies! I think it was because this cow knew we would later leave some left overs out on the table for her and not secure the trash can lid with our pizza boxes inside it!
Here at home I am a helper and a ‘wooer’.
According to Strength Finders, a ‘wooer’ is not just a cheerleader, rather, a wooer is adept and skillful in the social setting. In Guatemala, I didn’t know the social setting!
And even with 115 days straight of learning Spanish using the app Duolingo, there was such a language barrier. I am usually a very verbal person (if you know me you just smiled) but now these strengths were not able to aid me.
I became very contemplative. I wanted my eyes to be bigger than usual, how a small child’s eyes look, too big for their face, just soaking in all the surroundings. I couldn’t ‘see’ enough. I couldn’t take in enough. But the one thing I found while looking all around was that eye contact and a smile always brought a smile back. That is universal. Helping I could still do, but I can’t tell you how inadequate of a helper I felt like.
For John, who at home is quite the introvert, found a comfortable new socialness in Guatemala.
The medical clinic patient flow was set up like an assembly line – stations such as vitals, BMI assessment, fluoride, vitamins, etc. But it was not items moving down an assembly line, these were people. Johns task was to get vitals at stop #3 of the medical clinic patient flow process. He didn’t want people to feel like they were viewed as objects being processed. So he decided he would simply try to introduce himself, ask their name, and then say hello to them. Not knowing Spanish, he first tried pointing at himself saying “John”, looking at their paper and trying to pronounce their name, then say it again prefaced with “Ola” (hello). He was sharing names, but this just didn’t seem natural. About midway through day 1, he learned a simple conversation in Spanish.
Picture the following:
A person named Anna sat down at his station:
John: May yamo John
John: ?Tu Nambre?
Anna: Anna
John: Ola, Anna
Almost always, this resulted in a shared smile. Sometimes he would get a response in return:
Anna: Ola, John
Those responses ALWAYS resulted in big smiles.
On day 2 -
he was attempting translated ‘dad’ jokes (in Guatemala they have a saying for this “chites pierde amigos” – “jokes that lose you friends”) that got a few people to laugh! He would usually follow them up by calling himself a funny American, gringo ches toso, or at least he thought he was!
By day 3 -
He was trying his hand with deeper conversations beyond Ola, and was ready with a game of Rock (Piedra) Paper (Papel) Scissors (Tijera) if the occasion presented itself. I got to help John on the third day and getting to watch him making a small connection with each person that sat down with him was one of those over emotional, eye leaking moments that you just can’t quite explain.
Over the 3 days, he took over 100 sets of vitals. It was clear that the simple conversation of sharing names and saying “ola” or calling himself silly while trying to tell jokes was a brief connection that made every patient feel more like a person than an item moving down an assembly line.
Our son Colin’s interests lie more in the arts and sciences, but he found his connection in Guatemala with sports. The first day the medical clinic started to wrap up, Colin was standing with Tyler when they were approached by 2 older students, Willard and Dennis. Pointing and eye contact opened the invitation to connect through play.
Very quickly, Guatemalan and American kids came together and started playing. Many games were played at the end of each medical clinic day. One day soccer was played with mixed teams, another day it was basketball. Every game was fun for all, with both teams cheering when goals were made, and agony shared when one was missed. But Colin’s favorite connection was what he described as “Crazy Backwards Guatemala Kick Ball”.
The game was similar to kickball, but played with 3 teams and the kicker starting in the middle of the bases (think pitchers mound). I was helping to count out prescriptions at a table outside, so I got to watch the kids playing. My heart was filled with warmth and pride. Pride is not the feeling really, it was so much more as I watched Colin connecting with these other children of all ages. It didn’t matter if it didn’t make sense, it was fun. Colin connected by just being a kid and playing. It didn’t matter that there were language and cultural barriers. The kids figured out how to breach them with a ball.
Our youngest son Ian, coincidentally, studied Guatemala in his Spanish class this past year. He was more aware of the poverty/living conditions than the rest of our family, but he was surprised to find them not to be ‘sad’ about their situation. At the core, they were the same as us.
Ian became very sick at the start of our mission work and had to stay at the hotel the first 2 days. This meant he didn’t get to spend the time serving as much as the others. This also meant that Ian’s connections were strongest with the team that travelled to Guatemala. His connections with the adults on the team were more focused on his health, there were lots of worries and prayers for him to get through.
Although Ian will be a senior in high school, he is great with younger kids and quickly connected with the 4 youngest members of our team. Watching them down the table laughing and talking with each other at dinner mid-week, and walking through town brought an amount of joy to my heart that I can't put into words. In talking with him on our way home, we discovered that their conversations were not focused on the trip, they just easily chatted.
At first, this was upsetting. John and I found ourselves thinking “What do you mean you didn’t talk about all these things we were experiencing?” But then we realized that even as adults, this trip presented us with many overwhelming experiences. We realized that the way Ian connected with the younger members of the team was how he was able to serve – by giving respite to everything we were seeing and experiencing.
The boys wanted an extra connection shout out to be said of Juan Carlos. He is beyond cool because he would go out of his way for us at all times.
A Good Avocado indeed!
Like I said, none of us feel like we “helped” as much as we had expected to, and we wrestle with this. It’s a good place to be actually because we want and need to go back to help some more. But as I struggled with this, I remembered the first meeting we had with H(e)arts 4 Guatemala and the team that was going on this adventure.
I recalled what hit me SO hard about needing and wanting to go on this trip.
“I don’t want your money, I want you to come down here and love your brothers and sisters in . I want you to see that they are not statistics, they are flesh and blood. God could not stay in the heavens. He needed to become one of us - to touch and hug and share a meal with us.
He could have just doubled the portions of blessings but there is no greater blessing than communicating to someone - “you are worth visiting”.
It is only when that you understand why you give donations that your donations have a value.”
~ Fr. Michael Stalla Pastor @ St. Cosmos and Damien
And once again, but now at home, I am so filled by emotions that my eyes leak!
All the hugs we shared,
all the small conversations we made,
the handshakes taught and learned,
we did what we set out to do.
We connected - and - helped build lasting relationships.